Moving on from being a ‘lone leader’

In one of my earlier posts I talked about the time that the brilliant (and what’s even better, free!) Unstuck app helped me identify and move on from being a lone leader.

Well, as sure as the seasons change, it seems that I’ve been acting as a lone leader again!

Writing this blog has helped me reflect on the person I have been, on who I am at the moment, and on who I want to be in the future. And since writing my ‘Time to stop being a lone leader’ post recently, I have noticed how much of a lone leader I have become again.

But having identified the problem early, I reached out to help find a solution to my problem again. And just as I reached out, I found a solution right in front of me.

Going back to the source of my earlier solution – Unstuck – it was like they had identified my need, read my mind and provided a solution just for me. There on the Unstuck blog – by the way the Unstuck blog is a (free!) wicked source of ongoing support and advice! – was a post called ‘You’re overwhelmed — so why won’t you ask for help?‘.

The post described just how I was feeling. I was feeling overwhelmed as I was trying to do it all by myself again. I was being a lone leader. 

But this post then went further. It helped me identify what type of lone, overwhelmed, leader I was being. And then it gave me specific advice to stop being that type of lone leader.

The picture below shows the three types of lone, overwhelmed, leaders there are – Opaque leader, Hesitatnt leader, and Uneasy leader. 


However, to begin with, identifying which type of lone, overwhelmed, leader I was was actually pretty tricky. As having read the description of all three, they all felt a little like me. 

There is a real part of me that must achieve, that must be seen as doing well, and must show that I can do my job well. So the Opaque leader really felt like me.

Then there is another strong part of me that doesn’t like to be a bother to others., to be self sufficient, and to not be a burden or give extra work to others who are already busy and stressed. So the Hesitant leader sounded like me too.

And then there is a strong part of me which really wants to control and do everything myself as it will then be done my way and to my standards, which will also then help me to fully understand the task when it comes to talking the leadership tea through the piece of work. So the Uneasy leader also really felt like me.

So here I was trying to get unstuck with the help of Unstuck – but I was actually feeling more stuck than ever as I didn’t know which of the three was actually me. 

But, here’s the beauty of Unstuck, they don’t just leave you there. They help you identify which one of the leaders you are and then give you tailored advice to help.

So I took there mini quiz, and after answering the three questions, I was still all three – I was a hybrid. This meant that I would need to read, study and learn from the advice for all three. But, at least it confirmed why I felt a connection to all three types!

So then I started to use the Help Yourself printable worksheet – see below:


I started to use the ideas in the ‘Hone your request for help’ box. I started to ask the right people for help – not just those that I had a connection with, those that I knew would be happy to help, or those that wouldn’t make a fuss when I asked.

And what’s more, since I started to use this way of working, of using those phrases, and of asking for help, I am feeling that I am being the leader that I want to be. Empowering my team. Building up their belief levels and confidence. Keeping them engaged in the tasks. And as a result, continuing on our journey towards becoming a great team.

Thanks again Unstuck for helping me become unstuck to make progress.

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